Be Your First Priority

We always get some form of satisfaction with ourselves when we lend a helping hand to others. Because helping is innate; it is a part of human nature. It often comes naturally with no reservations.

With this, many of us tend to place the needs of others over our own. And over time, this behaviour eventually yields unsatisfactory psychological and emotional outcomes.

Within our families and communities, it is easy to be everyone's saviour, particularly when you have the means to. Before you know it, you have gotten yourself into the habit of placing yourself last.

You are always available to everybody else. Always present when you are needed to a point where you push away needs, or totally ignore yourself. You are always happy to answer everyone's calls while ignoring your own internal cries for help.

As this habit grows, an expectation is built from those you always put first.

Whenever a need arises, you are the first point of contact to satisfy that need, and to their expectation, you always rise to the occasion. But what about you? At what cost?

To those who are always a priority to you, they will never see or even have a thought that you may also need some form of help, as you have built this superhuman persona.

We all know the story of Superman. He always flies and goes to where he's needed without fail. None of those he helps ever stops to ask whether he is okay or not. This is exactly what happens when you always place the priorities of others over your own.

When you push your needs away as if they are less important, others will never see them as important as well.

When you treat yourself like an afterthought, others will treat you as such.

Often, those who go all out for others, no one ever goes all out for them when they desperately need someone. This is the outcome of prioritising others over yourself - the image of Superman that you've unconsciously formed.

Inasmuch as we need to assist or be there for others, we need to be cognisant of the well-being of the asset, which is ourselves.

It is human nature for people to sense your giving nature, and then they can easily take advantage of it. Hence, it is important to have boundaries.

Your lack of boundaries will make those around you take advantage of you.

Stop being a doormat and place your well-being first. After all, you are all you have; you are the asset that everyone needs. If the asset is not looked after, no one wins, especially you.

Not to say, never be there for others. Do it, while being conscious of the fact that you are no Superman. You cannot be there for everyone. Of course, it may feel good, but at what expense if it'll eventually leave you despair and resentful?

It is not a crime to say no. Stop being a people pleaser; it never ends well. Stop sacrificing your well-being for the sake of how people perceive you.

Your boundaries will disappoint those who always benefited from your lack of them. Better that than being a resentful adult because you never looked after your well-being but were overly concerned with others' perception of you.

Stop placing yourself last; be your first priority. The rest shall be secondary.

After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You are no super being. You are the asset. And for the asset to keep on producing positive results, it has to be looked after, irrespective of how it makes others feel.