Top Five Habits That Ruin Good Friendships

Even if you are that one person who considers themselves as having "no friends", at some point in your life, you had a friend (s). And that is a normal part of life. As we live in communion with others, it is inevitable to form acquaintanceship and friendships with those we interact with.

Inasmuch as romantic relationships get broken, so do friendships.

In most cases, losing a friend can hurt as much as losing a romantic partner. Friendships play a vital role in our lives.

You can lose a friend slowly, without a fight or a clear reason. Just a quiet distance that makes you wonder, "What did I do?"

But that quiet distance did not just happen in an instant; it has been brewing. There were habits that either you had, or the friend you distance yourself from had, that kept on rotting the bond until the friendship never felt natural anymore.

Then, the minimal to no communication at all starts. Before you know it, the friendship has ended.

This is caused by the bad habits that you or your friend have, habits that you all think are invincible because you have never questioned them.

So, here are the top five habits that ruin friendships:

1. ONLY SHOWING UP WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING

As friendships grow, there is no need for constant communication. But there comes a time when a friend checks in, but that check-in is not genuine. There's a request accompanying it. Some form of favour or help. Then it becomes a habit, and when you notice this pattern, you realise that your friendship is no longer genuine but transactional.

2. UNMET EXPECTATIONS

At times, you may expect a friend to know what you "need" or "expect" without communicating that. And when those expectations aren't met, resentment builds, and that eventually leads to a friendship being broken.

3. LACK OF RECIPROCATION

When you are always the one calling first, texting first, paying, and showing up, and your friend never does the same. It will eventually make you question the friendship. Then you keep score silently. You wait to see if he or she's going to check up on you first. Before you know, months have passed by without talking to each other. Then, the distance builds, and eventually the friendship dies.

4. UNWILLINGNESS TO CHANGE

Some friends may expect the friendship to remain the same even though you, as individuals, keep on evolving. They are unwilling to accept that you have changed, and some things you used to do together no longer interest you. Or the fact that you may have evolved into a different person while they are still in the same phase. That unwillingness to accept that fact builds resentment, and the friend then begins to view you as "switched up" on them.

5. CONSISTENT MOCKING DISGUISED AS HUMOR

When a friend consistently jokes about you around others, it starts to seem as if it's no longer just a joke but a deliberate personal attack. The humour gets too personal and too frequent, particularly in the presence of others. You begin to realise that this is not just banter, but the friend actually has something against you. You then avoid being around them. Thus creating the distance.

As you may have realised, these habits are somewhat familiar, as you may have personally experienced them. And often, those who commit to these habits are not consciously aware of the damage they create to their friendships. Or those who are aware, see the other friend either as ignorant or as a fool, and that's where most people draw the line.

Then the silence and distance begin, which then kills the friendship.

So, before you judge your friend for being distant, look at yourself first. And before you want to distance yourself from a friend, look within yourself to see your contribution to the imminent death of your friendship.

Be wary of your behaviours and habits. If not, you will keep on losing good friendships, thinking people change on you when, in fact, you may be the problem.