How To Use Silence as a Weapon

Have you noticed that being silent and not bothering anyone actually bothers people?

It's because others feel the presence of that one quiet person in the room. They feel they are more dangerous than the ten loud ones.

Contrary to popular belief, silence is not absence; it is presence with pressure. It all depends on how you use it.

Our upbringing taught us that silence and being reserved are negative attributes. Parents encouraged their children to be loud and social by being talkative and "bubbly". But no one ever teaches the benefits of silence.

You can actually use silence to manoeuvre your world. It is, in fact, one of the most powerful weapons you can utilise in your engagements with others.

I wrote a piece titled When You Go Out the Door, Be As If You Were Seeing an Enemy, where I explain why we are always in battle, even without us knowing. Silence, as a weapon, is one of the most effective tactics to ensure you come back home sane and emotionally intact.

Silence is pressure; pressure makes people leak information and lose control. When used correctly, silence stops being passive and becomes a powerful tactic to gain power and control of situations.

Here are some ways you can use silence to control and maintain power in any situation:

• Be Silent After a statement

If you say something firm that you strongly believe. Do not justify it. Stop talking. Silence after making a statement makes the other person respond to your frame of thinking instead of trying to rewrite or rebut it.

• Three-second Rule

After someone speaks, don't respond immediately. Count three seconds in your head. That pause shifts the frame. It signals you are evaluating instead of reacting to what has been said. People will respect you more as they perceive you as a critical thinker.

• Be Silent After Disrespect

When someone disrespects you, particularly with an intention to mock you, do not argue. Go quiet. The pressure of your non-response will weigh on them, and that will psychologically destroy the one applying the disrespect. They may not show it, but trust me, they feel it.

• Do Not Fill Awkward Moments

In our conversations with others, there are moments when the conversation stalls. And you find yourself not knowing what to add. If it stalls, let it stall. Don't try rescue it. Let the awkward silence reveal who needs validation and who doesn't.

• Be Quiet When You Feel Emotional

The moment you feel triggered by something or someone, stop speaking. Silence protects you from saying weak and stupid things that may make you lose your position. Emotional control is always perceived as power by others. The less emotional you react, the more powerful and in control you get perceived as.

Silence is not hiding. It is about withholding access. When used correctly, and you stop feeding people reactions, you start forcing them to reveal themselves. Which gives you the upper hand in your engagements.

So, why keep on yapping when silence gives you the upper hand?

Use silence as a weapon, and effectively lead the life you want to lead, and manage your relationships with others from your vantage point. From your immediate family all the way to strangers. Silence is golden.